My week off

Preparation – start binge reading ‘Angel’ series by Mike Ripley to the point that you start to believe that you have a cat called Springsteen and play the trumpet. Write impossibly long job list.

Saturday – Decide that you definitively have a cold. Go out for lunch and then sleep on sofa for several hours.

Sunday – come to at 4am remembering that you haven’t written your seed order. Go back to sleep. Get up several hours later and write out order. Persuade boyfriend to walk around to abode of seed secretary so that you can drop it off. Nearly get run over by seed secretary. Go to pub for pint of IPA. Sleep on sofa.

Monday – pop to surgery for a blood pressure check. Chat with nurse who points out that (a) your house is haunted, (b) it used to feature in Lovejoy episodes every time he went to his lock up, and (c) is the sweet black cat yours? Resist urge to ask if she’s talking about Springsteen. Waste loads of time watching Lovejoy snippets on Youtube just in case your house turns up.

Tuesday – go for contact lenses check first thing. This takes ten minutes. Wait for bus and arrive back just before lunch time. Wonder how you managed to accumulate so much bubble wrap and so many padded envelopes. Search in vain for bags big enough to contain them.

Wednesday – Go to allotment. Realise that potato crop is getting out of hand. Resolve to include potatoes in as many dishes as possible. Wonder if your cold will ever clear up. think baout going to High Street and then recall it is early closing.

Thursday – Feel good for about two hours. Engage in sewing and other activities. Then develop strange headache.

Friday – Get inspired about using potato glut to make dish from years ago involving herb and garlic cream cheese. Search for recipe in vain. Search online. Decide not to overdue things. Rest, relax…accidentally spend evening at 40th birthday party of someone you’ve never met.

Weekend – Attempt to recreate and veganise potato and cream cheese recipe.
Wonder how you can have still have watery eyes. Is it stress? A cold?

Monday – return to work wondering where the week went…